Titled Confusion
by mlinyaia
Summary: Xanatos has betrayed QuiGon but will he pull through this guilt and devastation? Is a short about QuiGon and Tahl and their friendship surrounding the Xanatos situation
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Titled Confusion

**Author: **Mlinyaia

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters :)

**A.N: **In this story Xanatos is Qui-Gon's first padawan.

**Chapter 1**

Qui-Gon awoke from his dreamless sleep, the same as he usually did every morning. He stood up off of his hard sleep couch and walked over to his small desk. He picked up the cold mug of tea he had not finished the previous night and drank it down. He grabbed a crisp, clean white towel from the end of the couch, and continued to walk towards the small refresher, his night robes swinging round his ankles with the movements he made. He walked into the small room and stripped off his night robes and entered the small shower cubical. A few minutes later he exited the refresher wearing the now damp an dripping towel around his waist. He slowly dried his body and slipped into his light, pale undertunic, then adjusting it to secure his comfort he placed his overtunic over the top of these. He gathered up his cloak and placed it over his broad shoulders and huddled himself into it. Pulling the hood over his eyes, he went to sit back on his sleep couch and begin a meditation.

Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi Knight, he had not yet made it onto the ranks of Jedi Master, and the cause of it would be his downfall. It had been little over a month since his first Padawan, Xanatos, betrayed him. It is always a fear of a Jedi taking a Padawan that their Apprentice would die before Knighthood, but a bigger fear and a far worse fate that they will turn to the Dark Side of the Force. This fear had turned into reality for Qui-Gon, Xanatos had turned.

Only 6 weeks ago, Master Yoda had informed Qui-Gon that Xanatos would be tested in their next mission, that it would be a trial for Knighthood. They were sent to Telos, the homeworld of the Padawan, they were to bring down the corrupted figurehead of a civil war that had brewed there. They arrived and soon foudn their intended target. There was a problem though, the figurehead was Crion, Xanatos's father. When faced with the decision Qui-Gon took it upon himself to deal the killing blow, severing the ring off of the fallen governors finger. Xanatos was angry and seeked revenge on Qui-Gon for killing his father, he hurt him in the only way he knew how, he picked up the moldering ring and imprinted it on his cheek as a reminder of the life his own Master took, the life of his own father! Then he left the Jedi Order, unable to control his anger and hatred, he became a Dark Jedi.

Qui-Gon shuddered as he reminded himself of the circumstances that had led him to this self imposed exclusion. His small, no longer shared Master/Padawan quarters, had become a prison he had placed himself in for the past 5 weeks, only to come out occasionally for a Council meeting to discuss the situation. His friend and Jedi Master, Tahl bought him a meal every evening and stayed with him to meditate. He was certain that she was reporting their conversations back to the Jedi High Council but was inable to keep anything from the beautiful woman. Her green and gold stripped eyes, the appearance of the Noori, made that inpenitrable gaze more welcoming. Qui-Gon and Tahl had spent many days discussing the situation that Qui-Gon was now in.

There was a soft knock on the door, Tahl was waiting to come inside the small quarters. Qui-Gon was awoken from his meditation and graciously went over to the door to let the waiting Knight in.

"Hello Tahl, it is good to see you." Qui-Gon greeted with a rather neutral sound in his voice. "What brings you here?"

"Hello Qui-Gon, I'm just wanting reassurance that you are ok"

"Well I can assure you I am fine." Annoyance was in his voice, he didn't mean to voice it aloud to the Master but he had and mistakes can not be corrected once they had joined the past. "The Council have sent you haven't they!"

"Yes Qui-Gon but you must understand, it is not often that a Padawan turns. They are concerned for you well being, as you were the most directly involved."

"Tell them I am ok and I am trying to continue with my life."

"That is not the truth Qui-Gon, they know you are not yourself." She paused trying to comfort Qui-Gon was tiring, he had been sulking for weeks now. It was understandable that he would grieve the loss of his Padawan Learner but how could he move on if he was stuck focussing on it. He needed to get out of the room, but she always failed to convince him of the benefit of some fresh air.

"Qui-Gon why don't you come outside, take your mind off of things, the Council are worried as you haven't left your room for over a month." 

"Then let the Council worry! I am dealing with all of this fine! Please Tahl just tell them to leave me"

Sensing the anger in his voice, Tahl hurriedly left the small dormitory and headed to report to Master Yoda on their discussions, leaving Qui-gon in the dark once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Titled Confusion

**Author: **Mlinyaia

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters

**A.N: **In this story Xanatos is Qui-Gon's first padawan.

**Chapter 2**

Qui-Gon watched as Tahl abruptly left, he slumped back against the wall. He felt the coolness of the stone against his back. His mind was full of emotions that were ravaging his mind, all of which were unbefitting for a Jedi. Tears started to form and fall at a rapid rate down his cheeks.

"Why did you leave me! Why! Please Xanatos come back! I didn't mean it!" Qui-Gon yelled.

All of the sorrow was escaping from within, his mental shielding crumbled and the rest of his emotions broke free of the cage he had enclosed them in. Qui-Gon screamed out in pain at the onslought of feelings that rushed to his concious thought. He fell down to the ground, he grabbed his head and sobbed into the unclean carpet of his quarters.

Tahl was shocked, she had never seen Qui-Gon behave like this. _What should I do, I can't leave him like this. _She walked brisquely down the corridor, her mind set on informing the Council of Qui-Gon's situation. Unexpectedly she heard shouting coming from the direction of Qui-Gon's quarters. Turning on her heel she sped back towards the door of Qui-Gon's quarters. Reaching out to the Force, she felt along the corridor, through the door and into the swirl of darkened emotions that were inside. _Oh Qui-Gon! Why do this to yourself? _She pulled out her comlink, entering the frequency for the comm unit in the Jedi Council Chambers.

"Mace here. We are in the middle of a meeting, can I assist you quickly."

"Hello Mace, it's Tahl, I need some assistance in Qui-Gon's room."

"Why what's happened!" Concern deeply etched in that low voice.

"Just get someone down here please!" Desperation only hinted in the way she replied.

"Very well. I will meet you there"

She ended the communication and faced the door to Qui-Gon's quarters. She tried to open the door, not surprised that it was locked. Leaning her ear to the door she tried to hear through the door and gain any clues as to what Qui-Gon was doing. once again she reached out with the Force trying to enhance her hearing and possibly hear something. What she heard was not what she expected. As soon as she accessed the Force all of the negative emotions that were overwhelming her friend, transferred into her mind. She screamed, agony ripped through her head and she fell to the ground.

Mace looked up as the communication ended. He stared around at the Council, Masters Adi Gallia, Plo Kloon, Yoda and Depa Billapa. Their faces showed grave concern for the well being of one of their Jedi Knights, one whom was the centre subject of the meeting they were having.

"Our decision on granting Qui-Gon his new rank will have to wait."

"Hmm yes, feel more there is to Qui-Gon, wrong our decision may be, all the facts we must consider."

"Very well, I will go and see to him, let us hope that one of us can get through to him. This has gone on long enough!" With that Mace stood up, bowing to the other members and left the Council Chambers. He accessed the turbolift, questions as to the reason behind Tahl's communication appearing in his mind. _Why does Tahl need us, what has he done now?_ He turned the final corner, there was a figure laying on the floor outside Qui-Gon's door. Reaching out with the Force he sensed that it was Tahl, and he also sensed the turmoil of emotions flowing through her from inside the room. _Oh Qui-Gon! What have you done! _He walked over to Tahl, he needed to break the connection between her and Qui-Gon, and soon.

She heard footsteps, felt a hand placed on her strong arm, shaking her awake. It didn't help, she couldn't break free from the grasp of the emotions.

"Tahl," She heard her name, but she wasn't able to respond. She was still consumed by Qui-Gon's emotions. The hand shook her harder, trying to get her attention. "Tahl, break you connection." She tried escape but she was so tired. After a few more agonising minutes the emotions stopped, she was back to herself but her energy was drained from having to fight for control of the situation.

"Tahl speak to me. Are you ok?" She opened her eyes, the world moving around in front of them. Slowly the figure came into focus. The face leaned in closer, looking deep into her eyes.

"Tahl, it's Mace, please speak to me. I have blocked your friendship bond with Qui-Gon, you should be feeling yourself again." She tried to sit up but a wave of dizzyness prevented her from that task.

"I'm ok Mace, just a little tired. Help Qui-Gon, he needs us." She passed out into the prepared arms of Mace.

Reaching for his comlink he called for the healers. He laid Tahl on the floor checking that she would be ok and proceeded with entering the room. He guessed it was locked, he reached into his tunic and pulled out the master key for the dormitories he had brought with him. _I knew I would be needing this! _He thought with a sigh. He opened the door and was taken back by the site before his eyes. _Oh Qui-Gon, how did you let it get to you this much! How did we all let it get this bad. _

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Thanks to Geri K for reviewing, this chapter is short but I wanted to leave it at that and have the next chunk in the same chapter if that makes sense. Sorry it took like 9 months for me to update this but I got sidetracked with Poison's Relief and Realisation mainly! But here it is! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Titled Confusion

**Author: **Mlinyaia

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters

**A.N: **In this story Xanatos is Qui-Gon's first padawan.

**Chapter 3**

Stepping into the room Mace was taken a back by the state that Qui-Gon was in. The room had been trashed. There were smashed datapads, their screens splintered; the plates from the kitchen were smashed on the floor scattering broken china throughout the quarters. The room itself, Mace assumed, hadn't been cleaned for weeks. The blind was drawn and there was little natural light filling the room. He walked purposefully into the centre of the dank room, turning on his heel he searched for Qui-Gon. He saw a darker shadow behind the door. Walking over to it he realised that the bundle was infact Qui-Gon! He dropped to his knees and placed a hand and Qui-Gon's back, trying to bring him some comfort.

"Qui-Gon?" The man opened his eyes and looked up, he was shocked to see Mace kneeling beside him. _He thinks I can't handle this, all of the Council think that I know they do? _Anger flared in his gaze as he stared up at the Council Member.

"I know why you are here! Get out! I told Tahl I was fine, did she fail to pass that on to you!" He stood up suddenly, shaking as he did so. It looked like he was about to run.

"Qui-Gon calm down, you need help. Please just sit down, we can talk you through this."

"I don't need help from a Council Member!" He spat back.

"Then how about a friend. This will be between us, within reason, do you understand."

Qui-Gon seemed to ponder this for a moment, he wasn't sure he could trust Mace right now.

"Look around Qui-Gon, at least see what a state you have got yourself into. If you can't realise that yourself at least look at your quarters, they are reflecting what you feel."

He gasped as he saw through his now unveiled eyes the truth that was inside him, _How did this happen._

Mace watched Qui-Gon carefully, he reached out to the Force trying to assess Qui-Gon's emotions. All he felt however were a set of strong and tight mental sheilding. He grasped the man by the shoulders, fearing he may fall.

"I know its shocking, but trust me Qui-Gon things will get better, how about we go somewhere else." Mace knew it was a hard thing for Qui-Gon to do, he hadn't been out of his quarters for weeks.

"No Mace, please we don't have to, I'll be fine." He responded, his voice a little panic ridden.

"Come on Qui-Gon, you yourself know that facing this challenge is the first step to getting free from all of this." Patiently Mace waited. He watched as slowly Qui-Gon began to move towards the door, he let out a hiss as he cut his foot on a stray piece of broken plate.

"How did my quarters get like this?" Qui-Gon had no recollection of breaking all of this, which alarmed him.

"I can honestly say I don't know Qui-Gon. I would imagine it happened when you lost control of your emotions, that could cause this much damage to your immediate surroundings."

"Oh. I should clean it up maybe we can go out another day." _Like in 10 years. _He though sarcastically.

"No Qui-Gon, you are coming outside with me, I'll get someone to clear all this for you. Go and get your boots on and we'll go and find somewhere to talk."

Qui-Gon looked around the room in defeat searching for his boots. "This is embarressing Mace, but I can't find my boots, it seems they are hidden amongst the mess. Never mind, I'll go without, I'm not expecting any smashed glass in the Temple hallways."

"Very well then, out of the door you go." He ushered Qui-Gon out of the door and into the corridor. They walked in silence down the hallway. They waited for the turbolift, they were heading for the Star Map Room, in the lower levels of the Temple. Mace knew that this was one of Qui-Gon's favourite rooms to meditate so was probably the best place to go. He heard the doors open and he felt Qui-Gon's apprehension. Looking up he saw that was a Master with his Padawan in the lift. Mace grabbed Qui-Gon's elbow and gently led him into the lift.

"Padawan this is our first mission, now I know that it isn't as exciting as you hoped but it is important."

"Yes Master."

Qui-Gon heard the conversation and images of his times with Xanatos flashed into his memory. The other occupants of the lift left, leaving just Qui-Gon and Mace. Qui-Gon's mind was reeling with the unwanted images. He slumped down onto the floor, he brough his knees up and hugged them to his chest. He felt uncomfortable being in the open with all the reminders of the past, and of Xanatos's betrayal. Mace tried to get through to him but it wasn't working. Qui-Gon was stuck in his thoughts. _Maybe I was wrong to push him this much. _Mace sighed.

Tahl was awoken by someone shaking her, opening her eyes she realised she was still outside Qui-Gon's quarters.

"Master Tahl, we need to get you to the Healers can you walk?" Slowly she sat up, once again her head felt heavy and she was caught by the healer who had awoken her but she stayed conscious this time.

"Don't worry, let me help you up." Placing his arms around her he helped her to stand, then held her tightly as they made their way to the Healing Wing. The Healer sent a message along the bond he shared asking for his apprentice to meet him with a wheelchair. As they stepped off of the turbolift Tahl went slack, too weak to continue. Luckily the apprentice had arrived and they transported her destination.

The examination had just finished, "You are suffering from shock and extreme exhaustion we are going to keep you here overnight to ensure that no complications arrive due to the shock then you my leave."

Tahl wasn't listening to the Healer's words, she felt a familiar presence in her mind, it was in despair. "Qui-Gon." She knew he needed her, she stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going Tahl!" The Healers exclaimed.

"Qui-Gon needs me!" She walked out of the ward, swaying heavily as she went.

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Thanks to i luv ewansmile for reviewing the last chapter. Theres not much left of this story so it will hopefully be completed soon! (everytime i say that it takes me weeks to update, oh dear, I'll try to be quick, I promise) Hope you all enjoyed this chapter too! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Titled Confusion

**Author: **Mlinyaia

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters

**A.N: **In this story Xanatos is Qui-Gon's first padawan.

**Chapter 4**

Tahl walked brisquely down the corridor, turning the last corner she was immediately confronted with a large crowd gathered by the main lift. She knew without looking what the cause of the gathering was, she walked over pushing through the arms to reach her friend. Qui-Gon was on the floor hugging his knees while Mace was tried to comfort him. She stepped forward and knelt down in front of him. She carefully placed her hand under his chin and slowly lifted his head up to look him in the eye.

"Oh Qui-Gon. If only you had let us help you things wouldn't have escalated like this."

Qui-Gon turned and huddled up against Tahl's outstretched arms. He felt the soothing circles on his back, his tears stopped by the comfort he was feeling. A shaky hand grasped the sleeve of his robe and hastily wiped the remaining tears off of his face.

"Tahl," He began, his sentence broken by a small sigh, "I'm sorry for how I've been behaving."

Mace walked out of the lift, dispersing the lingering crowd as he went and stood guard at the entrance hall to the turbo lift, ensuring privacy for Qui-Gon and Tahl.

"Qui-Gon we need to talk," Tahl said after a few calm moments, "Let's go somewhere quieter, we don't need anyone to overhear." She stood up and offered a hand and he gratefully helped himself up using it. Still holding his hand she accessed the Turbolift controls and set it to go to the star map room floor.

A few seconds later the doors opened and she led Qui-Gon out of the lift and into the room, changing the vacant sign around to show it was occupied. She motioned for him to sit on a mat at the far side of the room, while she was occupied with setting up the star map projector. She dimmed the lights and took a seat on the map next to Qui-Gon. They both watched silently as the star systems all moved around them, the only light in the dark room.

"Where do you want to start Qui-Gon?" He was silent. Tahl was about to ask again when he stood up and made his way over to a point in the room. He reached out a hand and touched one of the brightly lit planets, a hologram appeared of an unknown Jedi, she started speaking, "Telos, located in the Outer Rim Territories in the Kwymar Sector. Planet trade routes, The Hydian Way Hyper route…." Qui-Gon silenced the voice.

"It was a test, for both of us." Qui-Gon started, "Yoda sent us there." He pointed to the planet again.

"So that was where it started?"

"Yes, I had to stop him Tahl, it was the mission."

"Stop who Qui-Gon?" There was an awkward silence.

"I killed him, I killed his father."

"You killed Xanatos's father?"

"Yes. He..he left me! He's betrayed the Jedi because of me! I don't deserve to be a Knight let a lone a Jedi. My first Padawan turned to the Darkside because of my own actions." Tears welled in his eyes, the raw emotion he was finally sharing was causing him so much pain. Tahl felt the pain through the friendship bond and enveloped him in a hug.

"Qui-Gon, it's not your fault. As Jedi we are not allowed attachments. Xanatos should have known that it was his duty to fulfill the requirements of a mission and not let his personal opinions and emotions get in the way."

"He let the emotions rule him over him and that's my fault, I failed in my teachings. I failed him!"

"Qui-Gon Jinn! You did not fail! Xanatos ignored your teachings, that is not your fault, Master Yoda and the Council would have intervened if they had noticed any failings on your part."

"I..I suppose that's true. I just wish he had listened to me, I miss him so much Tahl."

"I know you do Qui-Gon, but this is a good start. Talking is the first step in healing, now that it is out in the open and can be dealt with properly, I'll be here for you Qui-Gon, don't forget that."

"I know Tahl, I know." He replied, "Will you help me clear my room, I want to see the sunsets again."

"Of course, let's start now, you might get to see tonight's if we're quick."

They both returned to Qui-Gon's Quarters and began to clear up the empty food dishes, soiled clothing and build up of dirt that had settled over the time. The last thing they did was open the curtains.

"It's beautiful." Exclaimed Qui-Gon

"Yes it is, and with one day setting, a new one begins." Qui-Gon understood what she meant and made a promise in silence to put the past behind him and begin to move on.

The next morning Qui-Gon awoke to find Tahl still asleep on the couch in his living room. He adjusted the blanket that was half draped over her body so that it fully covered her. He set the water to boil on the stove for some tea, he turned to check on Tahl and noticed that his wall comm was flashing stating that a message was waiting for him. He walked over to it and accessed his message.

"Qui-Gon, Tahl has informed us that you are more settled. We request a meeting with you at 9am please meet us in the Council Chambers. Mace."

Qui-Gon checked the time, half an hour was all he had to get ready. A quick shower and a barabel fruit for breakfast. Tahl was still sleeping, he made a quiet exit from his quarters and hastily made his way to the Council Chambers.

He only had to wait for a few minutes before the doors opened granted him access to the chamber. He stood in the centre of the chamber, surrounded by the 12 members of the council all seated in their respective seats.

"Ahh Qui-Gon, too long we have not seen you for. Your harassing the Council we have missed."

"Yes Master Yoda, I am sorry it has been this long. There have been things that needed to be thought over."

"Qui-Gon we have called you before us today to award you with your new rank amongst the Jedi. It has been agreed unanimously by the council that you should be given the rank of Jedi Master." Stated Mace Windu.

"From the Council Chambers now you leave as a Jedi Master. May the Force be with you, Qui-Gon." Confirmed Master Yoda.

Qui-Gon was shocked; he just stood there contemplating this news. Once it had sunk in he bowed and thanked the Masters and left the Chambers to return to his quarters, he needed to talk this over with Tahl.

Opening the door he saw that Tahl was awake and sipping a cup of tea at the table.

"Good morning Qui-Gon, you've been in a Council meeting."

"Good morning, yes I have."

"Well, what did they say?"

"They've made me a Master." He said straight to the point, while he sank down into a chair next to Tahl.

"That's great Qui-Gon!" Tahl cheered, but her smile faded when she saw the expression Qui-Gon wore. "What's wrong?"

"How can I be a Master! I never trained Xanatos to Knighthood. I can't be a master." Tahl thought for a few moments on how to reply.

"Qui-Gon listen to me, the Council deemed your mission as a success. Xanatos turned as a result of the final test, the mission being completed. The completion of it meant that he was deemed a Knight, true the formalities had not been completed such as the knighting ceremony but in the Council's eyes you were no longer Master and Padawan therefore you successfully trained him to Knighthood, therefore you are a Jedi Master. The council do not see you at fault and by overcoming this situation it has further proven that you have the strength and knowledge to be awarded this. You are a Master Qui-Gon."

"I am a Master." He whispered while his head resting on Tahl's shoulder. "Thank you." He said even softer, so soft he thought she didn't hear it. She did, and she smiled.

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Well that's it, its over now, I hope it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, since I started it I never thought this story was very good so please tell me what you think. Thanks to i luv ewansmile for the wonderful reviews they are all that kept me going with this!


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